Positivity in Relationships

The people in our lives impact our attitudes. Choose with care who to include and emulate in life. Our associations either elevate or bring us down. Every relationship is different. Some are like kayaks, others a row boat, others a cruise ship, etc. We spend more time with some and put less work into others. However, the best and healthy ones keep us afloat and buoy us up. This is why I choose to surround myself with people who have a positive mental attitude. 

A positive attitude is a powerful thing. It turns obstacles into opportunities, squashes insecurities, eases stress, and makes life much more enjoyable.

A positive attitude's a catalyst that can spark extraordinary results and turn punishment into entertainment. (Tweet this)

One example of a person with an extraordinary positive mental attitude is my younger brother, Kekoa Tato. Kekoa doesn't allow having down syndrom to stop him from enjoying life, having big dreams, and going after what he wants. In fact his positive mental attitude has allowed him to do many things that many others would be too scared to even attempt.
When Kekoa was in preschool, he didn't always want to do what the rest of the group was doing. As a result he'd end up in time out. He'd play with a rock or his shoes. Sometimes he'd even laugh and sing to himself. Time-out was supposed to be punishment, but he was having fun!


Last year Kekoa ended up in the hospital will gall stones and had surgery to remove his gall bladder. Despite the pain he endured to recover from the surgery and having to be cooped up in a hospital room for almost 2 weeks, a smile was ever present on his face. When I'd visited him, he even showed off how he had serenaded all of the pretty nurses and introduced me to all of his new friends. In fact, all who dropped by to cheer him up left uplifted and inspired themselves.

Positivity is contagious, and during adversity it's inspiring. (Tweet this)

 My relationship with Kekoa has always inspired me to smile and stay positive even when things are tough. From Kekoa, I've learned that I should never let my circumstances determine my attitude or the direction the edges of my mouth point. If we decide to always have a positive attitude, we will always be able to make the best of any circumstances.

When bad things happen we can't change the past, but with the right attitude we can learn a lot from it. (Tweet this)

Who is the Kekoa in your life? How would a more positive attitude help you get through hard times?

 

Words are Powerful: 4 Ways to be a Positive Communicator

Words are powerful things. They can be used to move mountains or bring down empires. They can be used to build or destroy. Here are 4 ways you can be a more positive communicator:

1) REINFORCE THE GOOD

No one is perfect; but we all, to some degree try to be. We choose what we magnify and see in others.

 It is of great benefit to reinforce the good while bridling the bad.  [Tweet this]

Even the proudest person is the hardest on himself. People don't need us to add to their voices of negativity, instead, reinforce and encourage the good and positive in others. In doing so, our confidence grows and we'll gain an ally for life.

2) STOP COMPLAINING & BE GRATEFUL

Complaining is like mental pollution. It brings with it the stink of bad vibes and the smoke of negative energy. Negative thoughts and complaints are like rabbits, you only need a few in order for them to multiply and get out of control. There is no situation so bad that complaining won't make it worse. Instead of complaining, focus on what you have to be grateful for. When we are so intent on complaining about the smudges and fingerprints on our glasses it is easy to miss the beautiful sunrise beyond the lenses.

There is no situation so bad that complaining won't make it worse. [Tweet this]

3) SPEAK UP & OUT WITHOUT SPEAKING DOWN

The world isn't perfect. There are countless problems and issues that need to be addressed and brought into light. It would be wise to focus on solving problems and not on changing people. 

No matter how much we do know, we do not know everything. [Tweet this]

In speaking down about people, we may find ourselves making and spreading false assumptions about the very individuals who could be key in making things better and are doing the best with what they've been given. It is vital that we speak up and speak out while doing all we can, but never speak down in the process. 

4) SOMETIMES BE SILENT

The natural man in all of us likes to be right. Sometimes we can become frustrated when we know we are right and are trying to convince others by arguing our point. Just a little bit of contention can easily turn into bashing, taunting, and demeaning. In these arguments, no one really wins. 

If you know you are right, the proof will eventually come out.[Tweet this]

In times of stress in our lives, we would be wise to say nothing or be silent rather than wasting our energy to fight a doomed battle.

Use your words wisely. Don't fall into the traps of complaining, criticizing, gossiping, or belittling. Our words will either open doors for opportunities or slam ones that were previously already open. 

How have words positively affected you in your life?
 

3 Ways Trials Strengthen Us

Life is not meant to be perfect. It is a time for experience and a time for progression.At times, it is necessary for us to go through sorrow so that we can delight in the joys that the fullness of life has to offer. Pain teaches and protects us. Just as we must push our muscles to their breaking points to strengthen them, so must we also endure trials and set backs that seem to break us in order to be strengthened as individuals.

Had I not faced and endured the trials in my life, I would not have realized the strength I continue to discover I have within me. Here are 3 ways my trials have strengthened me. More importantly, here are 3 ways you can find strength in whatever trials you may be currently facing.

1) THE ABILITY TO OVERCOME FEARS

When our backs are up against a wall it's incredible what we are able to overcome and achieve. Suddenly the very things we thought we were too afraid to do become necessary. We find ourselves doing things we feared because we have to and the illusion of fear disappears.

"There is no illusion greater than fear."-Lao Tzu

2) EXPERIENCING A PARADIGM SHIFT

A paradigm shift occurs when there is a fundamental change in the way we see and approach things. It makes perfect sense that a person would describe the onset of adversity as having their world turned upside down.

Trials force us to see things differently and from a different perspective. [Tweet this]

Our empathy for those going through similar situations increase and we find unlikely friendships with them.

When one of my brothers was diagnosed with a special needs my family had to learn whatever was necessary to best care for him. We had to research for the best organizations to help him learn and develop, know how to protect and prepare him for looks and questions and sometimes teasing from those who wouldn't understand. We learned what kinds of resources were lacking and the unique monetary costs that would be faced through out his life. We found support groups and made new life long friends. We experienced a major paradigm shift. These paradigm shifts we experience in trials strengthen us by broadening our perspective of the world around us.

3) INCREASED CAPACITY TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Because  of the paradigm shift that happens as we face and endure the adversity in our trials we can more easily recognize the pain and set backs of those going through similar trials. Our love for them increases. And because we've been there before under similar circumstances we have a better idea of how to offer comfort and support. In my church, the Relief Society, a women's organization, sign up to make meals for families for at least the first week after a new baby is born to help ease the burden of adjusting to life with a new infant. These women do this because many of them know preparing meals during those busy and sleepless beginnings is not always a priority but still a necessity.

Our increased capacity to recognize service opportunities and actually having an idea of how to offer comfort, to me, is the greatest badge of honor we can forever wear and utilize because we face trials.

There may be battle scars, but knowing we can bless others as a result of enduring hard things makes it all worth it.  [Tweet this]

In the wise words of Sai Baba, "No joy can equal the joy of serving others."

In what ways are you stronger because of your trials? How are you more capable to serve because of your past trials?